Tomorrow is my last day before summer vacation starts... and, well... it couldn't come at a better time.
Not that this school year has been stressful or anything... I just really want to be a bum and sleep in and do absolutely nothing... heh heh... I think the Japanese will begin using ビクター (Bikuta, my name in Japanese) to mean lazy rather than using the Japanese word for sloth, ナマケモノ.
But, don't get me wrong... I do intend on travelling around Japan with my cousin who's visiting and another friend who is living in Japan now... hopefully she won't sell out... heh heh.
But, no... besides wanting to have no real obligations for the next month and a half... I think I'm mostly looking forward to this vacation to take a break from people.
I'm pretty much done with most of the foreigners that live in my town. I feel that they have no common courtesy nor social interaction skills and lack manners. It blows my mind how people treat each other... or, at least how they treat me. Maybe it's just me that rubs them the wrong way... just the same way they rub me the wrong way.
Japan has helped me find this newfound confidence in myself... and maybe they're just threatened by this confidence I have now and want to bring me down to their level. And, this confidence isn't just with myself... it's also confidence with being a teacher and reaching out to children and my co-workers. This stems from the fact that I'm doing a great job teaching here and get nothing but positive feedback. In fact, the heads of my branch have told me I stand out and... I think they might have been telling people to do stuff I've been doing... to try and model me. I think this just threatens them...
I mean, this entry is beginning to sound like I'm really full of myself, but... I really can't help that I am this confident now and that I'm doing such a great job. If anything, I'm entitled to this improved self-view of myself. Up to just recently, I hadn't really believed in myself much. I used to say I did... but, that was mostly a cover-up for my average self-image... how I really saw myself. My close friends have even noticed this too... and, well, they're impressed and like the new me... so, why shouldn't I be too? I like what I am now... and I shouldn't change that for people I don't really care for.
Especially when this confidence is coming naturally to me. That's because I've discovered that being a teacher is my calling. This is what I'm meant to do in my life. If others have an issue with that... it's their problem... not mine.
Anyway... I've obviously trailed from the actual purpose of this entry... the fact that I'm excited for my upcoming summer vacation.
To be free of work and free of people who have been stressing me and trying to bring me down... oh man... how good that sounds.
I'm mostly just looking forward to hanging with my cousin and friend... people who actually know and understand me. In fact, I have a "cousin" staying with me now... and have been glad to just be myself with no backlash. Having him staying with me these past two weeks have been a mini sample of what I am to expect... and I'm really looking forward to it!
I need the break... and hopefully I'm recharged and all ready to bring in the second half of the school year and hopefully I have completely recharged my tolerance of people who have drained me of my patience... heh heh.
Summer Vacation... you will be my summer fling!
1 comment:
Lol! Start teaching the next generation the new definition of lazy! "Bikuta wa namekemono. Namekemono wa Bikuta. WAKARIMASHITA?!" ^o^
I'm glad you're finally getting your time to be with your bummy self too. ^^. You mentioned that your self-confidence is real now and I think I can really relate to that in a similar way. I had that self confidence but tried to hinder it, and myself, when I saw that I was being treated differently because of it until now I realize that only the people that matter will accept me as I am and are obviously people who aren't so insecure that they can't handle being around someone like that. With you, you mentioned that the confidence was always half-way there and that when it was all the way there, the haters started hating. lol, but aside from the annoyance of it all, you're still going to be you without any apologies.
We're a world a way but the Miami in us or w/e it is that makes us us keeps us of the same mind -easily annoyed with stupidity but able to grow from it. haha! <3
Enjoy your fling! ;D
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