My life... though it has some things that I wish were better or could be different, is pretty okay... actually, scratch that... it's a pretty damn good life I have going.
I have a good-paying job that, luckily, is a job that I enjoy doing. I have a good group of friends that I love and enjoy spending time with... they support me and make me feel appreciated and wanted.
Yeah, I have a lot of good things going on in my life... but, sometimes, you can't help but wish that things were a bit better... if just a little bit more.
There are so many times I look back at my younger self and wish I could've done things a bit differently... or, that my parents could have encouraged me a bit more to get out there and become more involved in different things.
At the same time, I can't really put all the blame on myself or my parents... mostly because, sometimes it's something that can't really be helped.
As a child, I was extremely shy and comfortable in my home environment. I didn't really feel the need to venture out and put myself out there. Not sure with doing what necessarily... but, yeah... that's besides the point.
So, this is why I think with my children... things will be different. I want them to live a life with no regrets and when they're older... be able to look bad and be happy with the opportunities they were provided and were available to them.
One of these things is having a hobby.
Nowadays... I feel that I have so many different things I like... but, that I can't really focus on any one in specific. As a child, I mostly just stayed home and played video games... not really a hobby... more like just a lazy boy with no social life. I could play video games er'day all day and wouldn't be bothered by that at all.
My children... my children will need to have a hobby. I want to encourage them to paint, sing, dance, draw, take pictures, be artistic, play a sport, enjoy the outdoors... do anything that they have the slightest interest in.
It might make no sense... but, in a way... I feel that when you're a child... you're supposed to try different things to see what specifically interests you. This might even help out with what you'd like to do as a career. For me, I never had this experimentation with different activities. I played video games... that's about it.
Now though... I feel that my brain is so scattered and I have different things that interest me... but, that I get bored of and can't focus on one activity. I like to draw... or, more accurately... I like to sketch. I like to take pictures. I like to cook. I want to learn how to play an instrument... and I'd like to learn to sing (though, that obviously is not so much a skill I can work at to improve). Basically... I have this artistic urge that needs satisfying... but, it's hard for me to find a means of improving on it because at this age... it's just hard to have/find a great amount of free time to focus on the improvement of these skills.
My children will be creative... artistic... AMAZING!
The same goes with sports and being athletic.
As you can imagine... growing up as a kid... playing video games like my life depended on it... not quite the athletic or coordinated boy. It wasn't until I actually came to Japan that I began taking an interest in sports... most specifically volleyball.
When I worked at a middle school, I loved joining the volleyball club and practicing with them... playing games... doing the different drills... etc. I got so excited about volleyball that I even tried to find adult clubs that I could possibly join. But, at that moment... I was very limited in my Japanese and it was hard for me to just walk up to a group and be like... can I join your volleyball team?
This made me wish I could relive high school and try out for the volleyball team. Sure I'm not the best volleyball player in the world... and definitely not the tallest... but, I think there is some skill in my body that I could've tapped into and hone on to become a pretty decent player.
Yup... my children will be encouraged to join a sport team and find an activity they like. They might not be the best at it... but, at least they will try something. You know what... if anything... they'll be at a much better state of health than my chubby, unathletic self. That should encourage them to continue this lifestyle into adulthood... and hopefully they won't be like me... where I struggle with being healthy and working out (I love working out... but, it's hard for me to encourage myself and find motivation to continue).
In all honesty... I have this dream that my children will become like an amazing athlete or artist/singer/whatever... and I can live my dream out vicariously through them. Kind of pathetic and selfish perhaps... but, no worries... I won't be one of those parents that forces kids to do stuff... just give them the encouragement to strive for their own dreams.
But, yeah... moving away from those two topics... I also want my children to be cultural individuals.
I've spent that past 5 years trying to learn Japanese... I've spent the past 3 years living in Japan and being surrounded by the Japanese culture. I have this desire to travel the world and get to know and accept the world's varying cultures.
I'm glad I've become the cultural person I am now... and technically I did have a pretty cultural childhood... speaking two languages and living in America while still practicing my Colombian culture.
But, I want more for my children... I want them to speak, at the very least, the 3 languages I've acquired from their youth. I might be struggling with becoming fluent in Japanese... but, I want my children to be able to use all 3 of my languages with such ease and expertise... be able to switch from one language to the other without much thought behind it... for it to just be natural for them. If anything... it'll also help me with my Japanese since I'll have someone to continuously speak in Japanese with.
The world is so competitive nowadays... two languages just don't seem to cut it. I want them to have the edge over all others... maybe even pass on my own competitiveness unto them?
... heh heh...
But, yeah... I want to show my children the world... and I want to pass on that hunger to see it all... something that I am slowly just beginning to realize I have.
You know what... scratch that... I want my children to have a hunger to live life and experience it. If they want to do something... I want to do everything in my power to help them achieve that.
I know that that's what every parent strives to do... but, you know what... I feel that in my situation it's something very important that I must provide...
... maybe it's simply due to the fact that I feel like I didn't have much of a father figure growing up.
I must overcompensate I guess. My father is alive... and I love him... he is my father after all... but... that's about it.
He's just my father... he has the title... period.
I will be more that just a title... I will be THE FATHER! I don't know what exactly I'm trying to mean by that... but, I like the sound of it... and, I've also realized that this entry is heading in a completely different direction... heh heh...
So, to bring it all back to base... because I will do the fathering job better... my child will have the opportunity to do it... WHATEVER THAT "IT" THAT THEY WANT TO DO IS... not only differently... but also better!
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