If You Cut A Gaijin...

... do we not bleed?

I know I've lived in Japan for... well, soon going on to four years, but there are just some things that I think I'll never fully understand or get accustomed to.

I know every other foreigner in Japan goes through the same thing... we all joke about it occasionally... but deep down inside... it does hurt us... doesn't it? At the very least... we're irked by it.

So, I've gone a little ahead of myself, but I'm referring to a situation that just happened to me as I got on a train.

Having gotten on a train during High School "rush hour"... the time all students are returning home or going to other activities, it was pretty much a crowded train. I found a nice, big open space, so I sat down. Just then, I see two men (not students) making their way to sit... but are forced to sit next to me since the rest of the open space is then taken up at that moment. They both looked at me... then looked at each other and laughed. They both then started nudging each other and tried to force each other to sit next to me. After a little 3 second struggle, a loser was established and he hesitatingly sat down next to me.

Yup...

Quite the typical situation that us, gaijin, usually experience. Whether it be on the train, bus, subway... walking along the sidewalk and they try to be as far away as possible or actually quickly cross the street then cross back once we pass... I kid you not.

And, though I am used to it and joke around about it when I'm with my fellow, gaijin... I'd be lying if I didn't admit part of me hurts inside. I think it's not so much that they don't want to be near me... I mean... I try to avoid siting next to people all the time too (mostly due to me wanting my personal bubble to be free as well as me not wanting to be all up on other people's bubble)... it's mostly the way they go about the situation.

For me, I simply keep walking or remain standing.

For them... you always see their expressions clearly and they don't even try to hide it. These expressions range from disgust, distrust, fear, hilarious, superiority... to who knows what other expressions.

These two grown men where laughing and nudging each other... all while less than a foot away from me. They were practically on top of me... and it just made me feel like a second-rate human... maybe even less.

That's just horrible... it's as if we don't deserve to be treated civilly... like we don't have emotions or feelings.

I, however, still tried to pretend I didn't know what was happening and I slid over to actually give the other man space to sit so he wouldn't have to stand.

No acknowledgement.

He remained standing while there was more than enough space for him. He'd rather be uncomfortable than sit next to a savage.

There is a sliver of hope remaining though... and it all lies in the younger generation. As soon as the two men got off, two students sat right next to me... unfazed by my gaijin-ness.

I'll try to base it all on the fact that the older generation just didn't have the opportunity to be assimilated and habituated to foreigners.

That's one of the things I take the most pride of... being a desensitizer to the younger generation and showing them how friendly we are and how beneficial interactions with us are. The children get to become cultured... and that more accepting of the world outside of these Japanese coastal borders... that more likely to be open-minded and eager to learn of the world they are a part of.

My mission is to shape the future... one child at a time!