This is going to be an entry out of the ordinary... mostly because I'm not much for sharing about love and romance and all that gooey-ness.
Maybe it stems from the fact that I've never really known love. There were close times... things I have experienced that resembled or fooled me into thinking it was love... but, when it all comes down to it... it never was.
I don't know love...
This is a thing I have commonly said over the years. Many of you might even know where I got it from. It's from my favorite scene in my favorite move, The Fifth Element.
What Leeloo says here has always stuck with me... mostly because I've felt the same way.
Now... don't go thinking this is a depressing or sad entry... I don't want people to feel bad or lower their moods... I'm just using that as an intro to continue with the point of this entry.
Not having known love... I've never really considered myself to be a romantic person. I mean... I guess in a way... I just naturally link love and romance... or being romantic, really.
It wasn't until today, having watched Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides that I realized how wrong I was about myself.
I couldn't find a clip of my favorite scene only... so, I'll go with the clip that has the best quality (it also doesn't allow for embedding... blargh!). Basically... the first scene of this Youtube video is the one I want you guys to focus... but, really... the whole storyline of Syrena and Phillip really got to me.
(Syrena and Phillip clip... click here to see it)
I discovered that just because I haven't experienced love before, it in no way means that I'm not capable of being romantic. This clip... and the previous one... actually awakened me to my own intentions and realize that I am, in fact... a romantic. I wish for the storybook romance or love that you read about... watch in movies. You need that sense of happy ending... and though I'm very cynical when it comes to love... deep down inside... there is still that innocent Victor that hopes one day I can experience love and finally be able to release the true romantic that is inside... waiting for one day to be put to some use.
I was actually against posting this at first. I think it's this whole stigma society puts in our mind... that romance is for girls and men have to be the strong ones... incapable of letting emotions run them. I didn't want people to read this mushyness and judge me I guess.
But, why should I care about how others see me... why censor my own self... my own blog. This blog is public... it's a means for me to share things that I guess I usually wouldn't be able to share. It helps clear things up for me and helps me deal with things instead of keeping them inside. So, that is why I changed my mind and decided to post it after all.
I'm 26 years old... and though I've never experienced love and tend to be negative and cynical when it comes to the thought of love... there is still that hopeless romantic inside of me... waiting for the day to finally change this negative view I have on the matter...
Where are you? The girl that will change me...
3 comments:
I used to believe that in order for it to be love, it had to be mutual. However, someone told me recently that just because it wasn't mutual, doesn't necessarily mean that it wasn't love.
I'm sure you've figured out (through my blog and through previous conversations with me) how hard it's been for me to get over a particular someone. I used to discredit my emotions and say, "How come it's so hard for me to get over him, if it wasn't even love?" Well, I've come to realize that what I felt was love, even if it wasn't the same for him.
What I'm trying to get at is that we've all experienced love, even if it's only been one-sided, platonic, or whatever, and that feeling, of wanting to give everything of yourself to someone else, despite what may come of it, should be cherished.
I feel the same way that you do, in the sense that I long for that fairytale romance, perhaps more than anything else. And I actually think there's a lot of merit in waiting for it, instead of just going through life from one pointless relationship to the next, just to drown out the loneliness. But, maybe that's just me.
In any case, you know I'm all about self-awareness and I think it's great that you write out these emotions. I also think that writing things out helps us clarify what we think and feel. Keep the hope alive! Everything deserves to be loved, and we'll all get our moment. :)
*Er, everyone deserves to be love. Didn't mean to call you a thing, although technically, everything is made up of the same stuff - atoms, etc.
Heh heh... I was like... awwww, thanks Kri... wait, did she just call me a thing?
But, yeah... don't worry, I didn't take offense and just thought it was funny.
Thanks for this perspective... I don't think I've experienced that, however... but, we'll keep hope alive!
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