I finally decided to actually leave the hotel today and venture out for a bit. It occured to me that even though I know I'm in Japan... I haven't really felt like I am in Japan due to the fact that I'm surrounded by English speakers all day during training. And even though the staff is Japanese... I don't really get much Japanish feelings in the hotel.
So, yeah... went on a bus that goes to the mall. Figured I'd check what this place was about. That was when I really felt like I was in Japan and I caught myself thinking... "Oh yeah... I am in Japan. This is real."
But, a bit later... I guess I felt my first bit of inevitable home-sickness. Well, I guess it's not really me missing home as much as it is me missing out on friends and family... people I know in general. It wasn't a bad bout of home-sickness... but, it was still something that I did feel while at the mall.
I was walking around the mall and it was okay... but, then I realized that even though I had gone with a big group (I actually think we filled a whole bus ourselves) of other trainees... I wasn't exactly with anybody in particular. People everywhere were paired up with others. I don't know when we were supposed to become all buddy buddy so quickly... but, I guess it might have something to do with the fact that I'm going to a place that only one other dude is going to. I don't know. I decided to just eat and even though I was surrounded by a group of people... I guess I kind of felt a bit lonely? I don't know... it's kind of a hard feeling to express since I wasn't really sad or indifferent about it. I guess it was mostly the realization that I am basically alone in Japan. I don't have two awesome roommates to wake up with my pill shaking. Or having to stop on the way to school in order to get something from the bakery. My room is not filled with people nor are we doing activity after activity outside of where we're staying.
It is exactly what others have said it was--vacationing in Japan (since that is basically what I did during my study abroad program last year) is completely different from actually trying to live and work in Japan.
Anyway... I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea from what I'm saying. I don't regret this opportunity nor am I having second thoughts. I am enjoying myself even though I'm really tired and drain by 8pm. It's more like I'm seeing things and prepping myself for how things might be. And regardless of how I feel now... I do know that it is only the third day and can't expect to have a million new friends just yet.
Wow... this entry seems to have completely gone in a somewhat somber direction than I had originally planned... so, let me just change subject.
When I was in the bus heading to Aeon Mall... I happened to read the name of a Japanese restaurant... とんかつ (tonkatsu-->the name of a delicious Japanese dish). This made me think of Luis going all crazy about it... heh heh... you goofball.
Oh, and speaking of delicious Japanese dishes... I ate some delicious curry for lunch which I swear tasted exactly the same from that curry Krizia made at my house one day... おいしい！(oishii-->delicious!)
But yeah... I'm getting a bit tired... think I'll be heading to bed soon. Laterness!
10 comments:
Luis goes crazy over かつ丼 （かつどん）. The other one is similar but remember, katsudon has runny eggs --> you fav. =]
Hey Dude, glad all is well. Let us know when you start to miss empanadas and chocolate bread!
Love you.
Don't worry too much about the buddy buddy-ness of those other people. Just be You!..which is funny! :o) When we studied in Japan, it was a lot different from working and living there. So Don't compare then and now! Make some memories of your own. Start Majide-ing it up with Japanese people :oP! Go watch a baseball game! Do stuff that we couldn't do, because our time was really limited! I'm sure you'll do great! Uh, This shit is too mushy for me. Basically, get with some Japanese girls..call me..and tell me about if or if not they had FIRE THIGHS (LMAO) You're in another country, get into a little bit of trouble
<3
Gabs
My advice would be that you're never truly alone when you have friends like us. ^_^ Keep in mind that Japan currently holds friends you have made last year, and pretty soon it'll even have one of your former roommates. I'm glad you got out there and started experiencing the country you will be living in. Remember that even though you're teaching now, you are always a gaijin, meaning you can get away with ALOT more mischievous things that other japanese people wouldn't be able to. Live up the fact that you are a foreigner and begin the gaijin smashing!
Jenny:
Oh man... sorry. I always get those two confused. Maybe it was that that I read... ::shrugs::
Anonymous:
Leave your name yo! I'll assume since you said chocolate bread that you're Jess... but, who knows. But, since you mentioned chocolate bread... my first day of breakfast on Monday, I picked up some bread and broke it in half to find chocolate in it. I was like... oooooo... it's a nice surprise inside! And it made me think of Jessica.
Gabie:
Thanks for the words! Will keep that in mind... though I doubt that some of these feeling and doubts are only natural and inevitable. I'm cool today. I actually interacted with people well today... so... \o/
Luis:
Though what you said holds true to being a foreigner... you forget that I'm going to be a foreign SENSEI. I capitalized sensei because... remember... in Japan... a sensei is so much more than a teacher. In fact, during this training this week I've come to learn that sensei's are actually a third parent in the sense that whenever parents aren't around... they are responsible for a child's well-being. Obviously, being an ALT... I don't really have those same exact responsibilities. But, despise that... I'll still be called sensei so can't go all buck-wild and shit.... ::sigh::...
Oh Vicky!
All you have to do is be your natural funny, easy going self and everything will just fall into place. Give it time and don't pressure yourself. (You have a tendency to psyche yourself out!) Soon everyone will see what we all see in you, a great person and wonderful friend. Remember that you have the support of your friends and family back home, just like you always have. You're always near and dear to our hearts! After all, distance makes the heart grow fonder and who knows? Maybe you'll actually be able to say "I love you" without making a bad joke after all is said and done! (Eight years....ONLY 3 TIMES! Still bitter...) Still not missing you!
<3
Stephy
Awww... I love still not missing you too!
... heh heh... had to put the joke in there.
I've been meaning to catch up on your posts, but am finally in Miami and things have been pretty hectic here. Anyways, I finally read them! Yay! I think it's only normal to feel a bit weird when other people get all buddy-buddy. However, remember that training only lasts a few days, so I'm sure that when you move to Iwate, you'll start to make new friends. I'd also suggest meeting lots of Japanese people, and not just hanging out with gaijins. It's hard to imagine you in Japan, by yourself, without the rest of the RSJP crew! But it seems that you're doing great - high five! And I'm telling you - it's your turn to learn how to make the oishii curry, hehe.
Krizia-
Yeah, I think my friends will mostly be Japanese... heh heh. There's only one person heading to the same place I am... and even then, we have different schools. So, here's hoping for my Japanese to improve... yoshi!
pill shaking...ti he he...
what are you talking about alone! never! remember all of us when feeling alone...
i love reading your post because i wish i were doing what your doing.
i happy for you alot. and tell us how the katsudon is
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