I've just come to realize that besides the bathroom (toilet), the shower is another good thinking place for me.
I randomly started thinking of my 10th year high school reunion... which, seeing that I'm now 25, is closer than it was a year ago... heh heh.
I kind of projected myself 3 years from now... and realistically placed myself in a probable situation at that time period.
What I saw: Family, not really a big-money baller, but doing just fine, working as a teacher (some sort of mix between high school teacher and college professor), having spent at least two years living abroad, thus having a love for travel and experiencing different cultures.
This is something I felt proud about. But, best yet... since it came out of the blue without me actually thinking much about it... I feel that this is my new life goal... the direction in which I must head. This future was purely from my unconscious, so I know it must be close to what I really want for myself.
Best part about it, is that even though I might not have the wealthy life that we all dream to have, it is a life in which I am extremely happy and proud of... and, in all honesty... that is the kind of life that everybody should reach for.
Sometimes, it's a good thing to take a step back from what you're doing, and look at yourself... and I don't mean that in a literal sense. None of this looking at your reflection in the mirror (though, that might help... heh heh), but actually looking at yourself from the point of view of what you've done with your life.
How have you gotten to the place you are at? How do you feel about the path you've taken? Are you happy? Is there anything you regret?
Questions like these help us to analyze ourselves. It's good to keep a true view of ourselves in our head, since how we see ourselves basically affects how others see us.
Well, during my self-analyzation, I've come to realize what I am.
It still surprises me that I'm living in Japan. Not only that, but how I've been here for a year and a half already. Though I'm not "alone" (as in lonely or depressed), I am "alone" in the sense that I'm away from my life back in Miami. I've been able to do exactly what I've wanted... and that was to separate myself from what I was used to in order to see who I am and what I want.
This definitely has to be the first time in my life that I can actually say, "I'm an adult!"
I've done something that few can easily do... which is leave your home and basically start from scratch in a completely different country... culture. I'm doing quite fine for myself too. I am able to communicate well with the people using their language (not have deep, meaningful conversations... but, definitely be able to live day by day without much trouble). I am finally actually saving money... which is something I've always failed to do... heh heh. And, most importantly, I am grateful and happy for my life here.
It'll be hard leaving it... and, to be honest, a part of me doesn't want to leave it. But, I know (especially after my little view into the future) that being here forever is not what I really want. So, in order to make things happen for me, I need to start figuring out how to return... return as the new and improved me.
Though... it's easier said than done... heh heh.
Anyway... I wish I had been able to type this while I was showering... my thoughts and things I wanted to say were more organized and flowed properly... but, once my thoughts start running, it's very hard for me to get them to stop... even though I consciously try to stop them.
Guess thoughts are something you can never control... heh heh. Anyway, I think I basically said what I've wanted to say... so, yeah... laterness!
Oh, and I hope your views into your life, your self-evaluations, prove to be as good as mine was. If not, well, don't worry... you still have time to change and fix the things you aren't happy with!
We all have the ability to, if not be someone everyone likes, be the person YOU like. After all, when it comes to you, you should be the one that matters first! Do what you can to make yourself happy.
1 comment:
I think a lot in the shower too..if I'm not dancing, lol (tmi?) and while I'm driving.
I'm happy that you've found a direction that you want to go in. Lately a few things are feeling out of place for me so I felt like I could relate to you more, but you've left me in the dust. lol. Especially with the way I've been feeling lately, asking my self questions like, "How have you gotten to the place you are at? How do you feel about the path you've taken? Are you happy? Is there anything you regret?" only depress me. ><
When I went to Japan last Spring though I really did get a sense of who I am and want to be, but it needed more time to develop, so I can't wait to get back.
"We all have the ability to, if not be someone everyone likes, be the person YOU like." When did you turn into a self-help writer? hehe, but it's completely true. However, I've found that nobody is liked by everybody. It's usually the jealous insecure ppl who will make up reasons to not like you, so getting past them and still being the person you like is the real challenge.
You have a bright future Vic, and you're believing in it! Awesomeness!
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